Dead Girls Like Us
by Salomedancing
Summary: You don't get that many visits when you are a consciousness uploaded to a computer system, but sometimes old friends drop in for tea. The Master in this story is Missy.


**AN: hadn't really planned to write more about the Master and River Song, but they insist on having conversations in my mind. Perhaps she will meet all the Master's regenerations, eventually. If you don't get the Mary Poppins reference (I'm sure you do), just google Mary Poppins and Time Lord. This fic is an one-shot but fits in a series were River meets the Master on several occasions and they rather like each other. With that in mind you don't have to read the previous fics, though you can find them here, if you are interested. They are called _A Conversation_, _Visiting Time_ and _Sliding Down the Razorblades of Life_.**

One of the many drawbacks with being dead and having your conscience uploaded to a computer system is that you don't get many visits. So River Song felt quite surprised when she looked up from her coffee cup and saw a stranger walking toward her through the garden. A slim, dark-haired woman in a purple jacket and skirt of a rather outdated fashion, an outfit completed by both a hat and an umbrella. When she came closer, however, River did see who it was.

"Hello Master. Fancy seeing you here."

"It is Mistress now, or Missy. I quite like Missy."

River snorted. "You are possibly the most un-Missylike being I can imagine. I will stick to Master, if you don't mind. And what about the Mary Poppins getup? Don't you find that a bit of a cliché?"

Missy twirled for her. "I can't help that the Travers woman and her nanny used to visit the same tea house as I when she was wee. Clearly I made an impression."

"A tea house? Really?"

"I seem to have developed a taste for it in this body. Any chance for a cup, perhaps?"

Living in a computer has its benefits as well and by the time Missy had placed herself across the table from River, the tea had arrived and was standing side by side of the coffee pot. Missy poured a cup and inhaled.

"Ah. Lovely!"

"Spoonful of sugar?" River suggested.

"Very funny."

They sipped their cups in silence for a few minutes until River spoke.

"Why are you here? Which seems to be my standard question, but I'm sure I didn't send you this time."

"I just thought that dead girls like us should stick together. Nice to have a little chat and all that."

"Are you dead?"

Missy smiled smugly. "Sometimes at least."

"It is actually quite nice to see you. I think I like you better now than when you were Saxon."

"I figured you must. You almost broke my jaw then, you know."

"You did deserve it."

Missy shrugged. "Perhaps a little."

They fell silent again. River watched Missy as she poured some sugar in her tea and stirred. Clearly this regeneration wasn't as good as keeping her feelings in check because she seemed quite upset.

"What's the matter, Master?"

More silence until the words came out in a burst. "I have changed so much! And he still didn't want me!"

"You know it was never the gender that mattered to him." River said gently

Missy shrugged and looked into her teacup "I know."

"I assume that you tried to conquer the world again to impress him."

The teaspoon tinkled angrily as Missy stirred her tea. "I might."

"You know, if you stopped trying to blow up the things he cares about you might get luckier."

"But he cares about so much!"

"And you can't change that. You can't change him either, only yourself."

Missy looked up and River saw the very real despair in her eyes. "I can't."

"Then I'm sorry. For you both."

They stared at each other and perhaps other things could have been said, but Missy stood up instead and smiled briskly. "Well, I must be off. Thank you for the tea."

Then she hesitated. "A kiss? For old time's sake?"

River smiled. "All right. For old time's sake."

She watched the Master trot away and just before she winked out and back into reality, River called after her. "Come back and visit again sometime."

The Master grinned over her shoulder and then she was gone. River sighed and thought that perhaps she wanted a cup of tea after all that coffee.

END


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